A painful Christmas
by LioSky
Summary: Close to Christmas Neal is injured during a case. An injury which turns out to be worse than anyone expected, Neal included.


Peter was sitting at the table with his computer in front of him, and a cup of coffee in his hand. On the screen he had a map of the city, a tiny little dot blinked steadily in the middle. The address told him that it was one of the more exclusive shopping streets of New York. His mind twirled around, coming up with different scenarios of the reasons for the dot being there, one more spectacular than the other. What was Neal doing?

"What are you doing?" Elisabeth came up behind him, put her cup down on the table and hugged him from behind and rested her head on his shoulder. "Are you checking up on Neal again? What is the problem now?"

"I don't know. It's just that Neal has been quiet recently. And normally when he is quiet it means that he is up to something, and I'm trying to figure out what it is."

El sighed, but then decided to play along. "What have you found out so far then, hon?"

"Well, look at this." He held up a note pad with different addresses written down. "These are different stores along the high end streets. What is he doing there? He has no business there. You know what this is?" He pointed at on address.

"No, Peter."

"This a women's clothing store. What is he doing there?"

"Do you think he is staking out the place?"

"What else I am supposed to believe?"

El straightened out and grabbed her cup. She started to walk away from him, but stopped for a moment.

"Maybe he is just Christmas shopping, honey."

"Oh." Peter said, and stared at the dot who was now on the move again. "Yeah, maybe."

That thought hadn't even crossed his mind. After all Christmas was only a few days away now.

 _\- WHITE COLLAR -_

On Monday morning Peter didn't mention anything about Neal's movements during the weekend. He had thought a lot about the whole thing, and decided to just wait and see what happened. But of course he would keep a close eye on Neal.

The day progressed slowly. They didn't have any open cases. It seemed like even the bad guys was taking a holiday. That didn't mean that they didn't have things to do. Now was a good time to catch up on some cold cases and paperwork. Neal was not happy, but Peter didn't care about that. He thought it was a bit amusing to see Neal's face fall when he received a bunch of files from Peter's hand.

"Seriously Peter. It's Christmas!"

"So? Work goes on Neal."

Neal glared at Peter where he was standing looking smug. He sat down by the table next to Peter's desk. He ignored Peter's look that told him that he wanted him to leave. He opened the first file.

"You know, I thought that you would want to have the day off today. Maybe spend it with Elisabeth, do some Christmas shopping?"

"I'm taking a few days off later. And I'm finished with the Christmas shopping for this year."

"Yeah, really Peter? What did you get me?"

"My present to you is not having to spend Christmas behind bars."

"Oh, come on. That is really getting old."

"You should be thankful."

Neal choose to not answer that, and focus on the files in front of him. He knew that Peter was looking at him, probably he wanted to take back the comment he just said. But he didn't say anything.

After a while Peter was called away to a meeting, and Neal went down to his own desk. The day passed pretty slowly. After lunch he went back up to Peter's office. He was finished with the files, and handed them back to Peter. Peter was busy talking with someone on the phone, so he just sat down in front of him.

Neal had had a pretty good weekend, and had gotten some Christmas shopping done. On Saturday he had dinner with Mozzie and June. It was kind of a Christmas dinner, even though that Mozzie refused to call it that. June had made food that was very typical for Christmas, and she had bought presents for both of them. June had left to go and be with her grandchildren for two weeks. Mozzie was not going to spend Christmas in New York, he was going to an undisclosed location to avoid the stress and consumption panic that this season brought on, his words not Neal's.

This meant that Neal was looking at a lonely Christmas, but he had plans to avoid that. He just really didn't want to spend Christmas alone. For once he really wanted to have a real Christmas, with presents and a tree. He had asked around the office for their plans. Both Diana and Jones were going out of town to be with their families, so no luck there. So Peter it was. His plan was to casually just invite himself somehow to the Burke residence. They wouldn't mind, right? He knew that Peter probably would say yes, if he asked him and told him that he would be alone otherwise. But he just couldn't make himself to do that. He would have to come up with something else. He could probably just ask El. Somehow he would manage. He just hoped that Peter and Elisabeth wasn't going anywhere this holiday. Time to find out.

"So do you have any plans for the holiday Peter? Are you going to Elisabeth's parents?"

"We were there last year, so we figured we don't have to this year."

"Don't have to? Does Elisabeth think the same?"

"Yes, she agrees. It's just going to be the two of us this year."

"Just the two of you?"

"Yes, Neal. Just the two of us, and we are going to have a nice peaceful holiday together."

"Sounds nice Peter, but don't you think it would be nicer if…"

"No, no." Peter interrupted him. "It's going to be just fine."

"I just thought that I could…"

"You just thought what? That you could come to my place for Christmas?"

Neal looked away and straightened his tie. For a moment he didn't know what to answer. He hadn't expected Peter to turn him down like that right away, and he wasn't sure if he was serious or not. It certainly sounded like he was. And he was apparently looking forward to spending time with Elisabeth, just the two of them.

"Never mind." He finally said. "Are we finished here?" He asked.

Peter stood up. "Actually we are not Neal. I got a phone call. We are heading down to the Alfred Nobel art gallery, their manager suspect that one of their employees is stealing from them."

"Now? We are going now? I thought we were going home early today?"

"Yes, we are going now. They have a Christmas dinner there the day after tomorrow so they want this cleared as soon as possible."

"But why do we have to go? Can't you send anyone else?"

"Stop complaining and let's go."

They left. Neal was quiet in the car, and Peter left him alone. Both were trapped in their own thoughts. Peter felt guilty about the way he had turned Neal down earlier at the office. He knew that Neal had been about to ask him to spend Christmas with him and El. If he was honest with himself he wouldn't mind if Neal came over for Christmas, but somehow he couldn't just tell him that. Maybe later he would apologize and ask if Neal wanted to join them.

They stopped in front of the gallery and were lucky to find a parking spot just outside. They still hadn't spoken to each other, and now Neal was quietly following behind Peter. Peter stopped just outside the door.

"I have been told that the guy the manager suspect is stealing is working today. He is responsible for closing the gallery, so I guess he have had the opportunity to do so."

"Why just let him close up then?"

"He doesn't have any proof."

"And what are we doing here then? Is he expecting him to just confess?"

"We are just going to talk to him and see how he behaves."

"All right, let's do it."

"I will do the talking. You just keep an eye out."

Neal nodded and they went inside. It was a pretty small gallery, on one floor, but it had many small rooms. At first it looked like it was empty, and Peter called out. A young muscular man came out from one of the back rooms. He had gloves on the he quickly removed as soon as he saw them.

"Can I help you?"

"Peter Burke, FBI. I would like to ask you some questions."

"Eh…Sure. Ask away."

"Are you aware of any thefts that has been going on here?"

"No." The man answer quickly and stupidly glanced over his shoulder at the room from which he had come. Neal signed to himself and discreetly moved in that direction, while Peter kept asking questions. Peter started to ask about the different paintings and steered the man with him to another room, giving Neal the chance to slip into the back room.

"I don't know about any thefts, I told you that already." The suspect, Anton Conradsson, said. He looked around him. "Where did the other guy go?"

"Are you nervous about something?"

"What? No. I was just wondering where he was."

"Is there anything you don't want him to see here?"

"No. I don't like what you are implying."

"Implying? I'm not implying anything here."

"Then I think you should leave."

"Why, do you have anywhere to be? I happen to know that you are not closing for another half hour."

Conradsson ignored him, and stalked back through the rooms. He went from room to room, obviously looking for Neal.

"Where is he?" He angrily asked Peter. Peter suddenly realized that Neal had slipped inside the back room, as they off course had planned, but somehow he hadn't managed to slip out again on time. Not that Peter had given him enough time to find something, but it was obvious that Conradsson was hiding something. Now Neal wouldn't be able to slip out undetected. He made and attempt to get the man's attention back, but was unsuccessful.

He sidestepped Peter and went into the back room. Before Peter had time to follow he was back outside dragging Neal in a hard grip behind him. He violently pushed him away against Peter.

"What the hell were you doing there?!" He yelled, at the same time as Peter called out as well, upset about the way the treated Neal. "Hey!"

"I was just looking for the bathroom." Neal tried.

"Bullshit! Get out!" He pointed towards the door.

"I think that you have to come with us." Peter said and held up his handcuffs.

"I'm not going anywhere with you. You have nothing on me."

"I think I do."

After that everything happened very fast. Conradsson apparently decided that it was a good idea to try and make a run for it. Both Peter and Neal was standing in his way though. He caught them both by surprise as he almost ran against them. He pushed Neal hard out of the way, Neal stumbled and tried to grab something to keep himself from falling. What he managed to grab was a painting that fell down, Neal following it.

Conradsson turned towards Peter and swung a fist towards his face. Peter managed to duck, and went in to tackle the man, but he failed as he was well built and slightly taller than Peter. They struggled for a moment, both men trying to get the other man to fall. Suddenly Conradsson leaned back, surprising Peter who fell towards him, and lost his footing. Conradsson used the opportunity and pushed Peter down, making him end up on the floor on his stomach. Peter was still in the way so he had to go around him to reach the door.

Neal had managed to get up during their struggle. He stood behind them as they struggled, unsure on how to help Peter. Suddenly Peter went down hard, and Neal found himself standing between the furious suspect and the door. Too late he realized that Conradsson prepared charge at him. He tried to back away and managed to duck on fist, but not the second. It hit him straight across the jaw, and the force of it made him end up on the floor again. The angry man towered above him, he heard Peter yell as he saw Conradsson draw his foot back, then pain spread across his chest as he was kick hard. The kick made him end up on his back.

Peter watched in horror as Neal was kicked violently right in the middle of his chest. He felt fury flow through him, and he was up and through himself over the other man's back, surprising him. They went down back on the floor.

"That's enough!" Peter yelled. "Stay down, right now." He had the upper hand now. He had won. As he roughly pushed the man down on the floor he allowed himself to through a glance in Neal's direction. He was still down, flat on his back.

"Neal?" He called to him. "Hey! You okay?"

Neal just groaned as an answer, and he was starting to get seriously worried. He put his knee on the suspects back and got out his handcuffs and cuffed him.

"You, don't move." He pushed him down, and was pretty sure that the man knew to stay down. He got up and quickly called for backup as he made his way towards Neal.

"Neal?" He crouched down on his knees next to him. "Are you okay? Where are you hurt?"

Neal didn't answer him, and Peters worry turned up a notch. He hauled out his phone and dialed 911 for an ambulance. Neal apparently heard him doing so, because he groaned and clumsily tried to reach Peters hand and the phone. Peter just pushed his hand away and grabbed his shoulder to calm him. When he hang up he turned his full attention towards Neal again.

"How are you doing? Are you okay?"

"Yeah…I-I don't need…I don't need an ambulance Peter." He tried to sit up but was stopped. "I'm fine."

"You are not fine."

"I just lost my breath that's all. It's back now. Let me up."

Peter reluctantly helped him to sit up. Neal couldn't stop himself from wincing as he sat, his chest felt tight and sore. As did his jaw. He carefully moved it a bit.

"See, you're not fine. I knew it. He hit you hard Neal."

"Don't forget kicked."

"Seriously, anything broken?"

Neal carefully touched the wounded area. "No I don't think so."

"You are still getting checked out." Peter slowly put his hand on his check, carefully checking it. Neal winced.

"Ow."

"I don't think it's broken."

"I told you."

The jaw was not what was bothering Neal most though. It was his chest. It felt kind of weird. It hurt a bit too. Maybe it was good to get checked out after all. Not that he would tell Peter that.

The ambulance arrived a few minutes later, as did the back up. Neal was taken to the back of the ambulance and examined as Peter handed Conradsson away, and explained to the other team what had happened. He then went over to Neal and the paramedics, and was told that they wanted to bring Neal to the hospital for X-rays and further examination. He told Neal that he would meet him at the hospital and watched the ambulance drive away.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

Neal was examined and cleared pretty quickly. He was told that nothing was broken, but got some painkillers for the pain. Peter was waiting for him when he was done, and got up to meet him.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I'm cleared."

"Good! You okay with going to the office an hour or two then, or do you want me to take you home."

Neal thought for a moment. His place would be cold and empty, since June already left for her Christmas holiday. He might as well go with Peter, and told him so. Peter looked surprised for a moment, but then just led the way to the car.

Peter felt a bit bad about dragging Neal back to the office, he didn't look so good. He was pale and moving a bit stiffly, but he had said that he was okay with going with him, so what else should he do then?

Neal did seem fine though, later at the office. He refused to do any work, just planted himself on a chair in Peter's office, he arranged another chair that the propped his feet up on making himself comfortable. They talked about Conradsson a bit. Neal got a bit quiet after a while though and Peter decided that it was time to call it a day.

Neal on the other hand was not really feeling that great anymore. His chest was throbbing. He wanted to rub it, but at the same time he didn't want Peter to know that he was uncomfortable. He felt a bit embarrassed about the whole thing, getting both punched and kicked. That was why he wanted to just pretend that it didn't bother him, even though it actually did.

Peter took him home after an hour, he fell asleep in the car and woke from Peter shaking his arm.

"We are here. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." He answered before he had time to think.

"You think so?"

"I'm fine Peter." He fumbled with the seat belt. Peter crouched down and looked up at June's house. It was held in darkness.

"Where is June?" he asked, and easily unbuckled Neal.

"With her grandkids."

Peter nodded, thoughtfully.

"Is Mozzie coming over?"

"He left town for the holidays." Neal said blankly. He opened the door and stepped out. "Merry Christmas Peter." He said, and closed the door before Peter had time to answer.

Peter sat in the car and watched him walking up to the door, unlocking it and stepping in in the dark house. He felt kind of bad for Neal now. He was apparently alone for Christmas. That was the reason he had asked Peter what he was doing for Christmas, Neal didn't want to be alone. Who would like that? Christmas was a time that you spent with your loved ones, and Neal didn't have anyone. Peter was not about to let him stay by himself, he would ask him to come over. Not just now, the next morning maybe. It was two days left, after all.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

Neal woke up in pain. When he got home he had just went straight to bed and fallen asleep. For a second it was the worst pain he ever felt. He couldn't move, he couldn't breath and his mind just was blank with panic. The pain radiated from his chest. He didn't know for how long he was lying there, but he knew that he had to do something. He was sweating and shaking, and it was so painful to breathe that he did his best not to do it at all. He was panting. He reached out for his phone that was on his nightstand, but he couldn't control his hand and the phone ended up on the floor. He groaned loudly and wished deeply that June was home. He needed to get the phone, he needed to call for help. The pain didn't ease up and he noticed that his eyes was watering. He tried to grab the phone, but it was out of his reach. He did another try, lost his balance and fell out of the bed. The fall almost caused him to lose his breath and he coughed. The good news was that he now had the phone in his hand.

"Yeah? Neal?" Peter answered on the fourth signal. It was his first instinct to call Peter, he didn't even find another option in his head.

He couldn't answer at first. He could only focus on breathing, trying to avoid the pain as much as he could. Why did it hurt so much? Something was very wrong with him.

"Neal? Are you there? What are you doing? It's the middle of the night."

"Pe…Peter." He coughed again.

"Neal, are you okay?"

"Some….Something is wrong."

"What's wrong?"

"My chest."

"What's with your chest Neal?"

"Hurts." Was all he could say.

"Your chest hurts? All right? That's not good." Peter said. Neal wanted to laugh, but couldn't. He was dying, it felt like he was dying. Why wasn't Peter helping him?

"Neal, answer me!"

Answer what? What was he talking about? Neal had no idea.

"Help." He said. "Help."

"Okay, Neal. I want you to relax and stay with me. I'm on my way, and I have called an ambulance for you. They might get there before you."

"Wha…" He couldn't follow what Peter was saying anymore. Peter kept talking on the phone, and he tried to listen as he laid there on the cold floor. He didn't know how much time passed. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He was so scared.

Peter tried to get Neal to answer. He could hear him breath over the phone, short labored breaths, but he was breathing. But what worried him enormously was the fact that Neal didn't answer him. The information he had so far, was that Neal's chest was hurting. Peter was scared that he was having a heart attack or something. He thought about what happened earlier during the day, the vicious kick Neal had received straight in the chest. Had he punctured a lung or something? Was that the reason why he couldn't breathe?

Peter arrived at the same time as the ambulance, and he let the two paramedics in after him. Neal's door was locked, so he kicked it opened. They found him lying on the floor next to the bed. He was deathly pale and sweaty and his whole body was shuddering. The three of them rushed over to him, and the paramedics started to assess him while Peter did his best to try to help and to get Neal to respond to them. Neal was barely coherent and didn't respond on any questions. They strapped him to a gurney and soon they were on the way to the hospital.

Things passed quickly after that, until Peter was left alone in the waiting room. A couple of hours passed and then Peter was approached by a doctor. After the whole deal with the anklet was dealt with they asked him to accompany them to Neal's room. Neal was sitting up on a hospital bed dressed in a gown. He was very pale.

"Hi Peter." He said weakly. "You are still here."

"Of course I am. What's wrong with him?" He turned to the doctor.

"At first we suspected a heart attack, because of the symptoms, but we have decided that Neal here has something called costochondritis. This occurs when the cartilage connecting the ribs to the breastbone becomes inflamed. It is a harmless condition, though it causes a lot of pain which Mister Caffery experienced. An injury which happened to you earlier today Neal, might cause this. Usually costochondritis goes away by itself after a few days or weeks."

He turned more towards Peter.

"We plan to keep him until tomorrow afternoon. At the moment we have him on injections of cortisone to help with the pain. It might also help to apply heat or ice. It's also good if he stays as still as possible and doesn't do any strenuous activities."

Peter nodded and asked a few questions, and then was left alone with Neal. Neal himself seemed tired.

"You good?" Peter asked, and got a nod.

"Yeah. I think so."

"Conradsson is going to pay for this." Peter said and sat down next to Neal's bed. Neal seemed a bit out of it when they talked and Peter got a bit worried. But later when he talked to the doctor again, just before he left he was assured that it was nothing to worry about. Neal just had a fever and was a bit drugged up.

Peter left after a while. He told Neal that he would be back to pick him up later. When he got home El was up waiting for him. She was pretty shocked and worried when Peter told her what happened to Neal.

"Oh…Poor Neal. You are bringing him here right?"

It was not really another option. If El hadn't said it, he would have asked her if she was okay with it. He slept for a few more hours, then helped El in the kitchen for a while, before he went to pick up Neal at the hospital.

Neal on the other hand did not have a pleasant time. He felt really bad when he woke up, his chest was really hurting, and he didn't really know where he was. He knew he was at a hospital, but wasn't really sure about why. He remembered that Peter had been there some time, but now he was nowhere in sight. He wasn't handcuffed or anything, but the anklet was on. He thought he had a pretty high fever, and guessed that was the reason he was confused.

He wished he could go home. He wished Peter was there. He wished he could call Mozzie. He wished he would just stop wishing for things that wasn't going to happen. Suddenly he felt really sad and alone. He was so alone. He was at a hospital, hurting and sick, and he had no one that cared. He suddenly felt very sorry for himself and just wished everything would stop. Before he knew it, tears was running down his cheeks and after trying to stop for a while, he just gave up and let the tears flow freely.

Neal was surprised when Peter showed up a few hours later and announced that he was bringing him home for Christmas. He had almost forgotten about that. It was Christmas. It was Christmas, and he was going to be allowed to stay at Peter's house. But the gifts, he didn't have the gifts.

"Neal? Hey, are you with me? Are you ready to go?"

It wasn't so much to do about Neal's condition that was the reason they let him leave the hospital. That, and the fact that it was Christmas. Neal was still pretty drugged up by the time they got home to Peter and El. Peter brought him inside and Elisabeth helped him down on the couch. She had already heated a pad for him, and put it on his chest. It helped some against the pain, but it was still pretty bad. He managed to sleep for a while. Elisabeth played Christmas music quietly in the kitchen.

He woke up a bit later, and glanced around the room. He was laying close to a nice Christmas tree, and when he glanced down he saw that a few presents was there. He froze when he saw a gift that was marked _Neal_. They had brought him a gift. He had nothing for them. He had to go home and get it!

He struggeled to sit up on the couch. The pain was still there, but not as strong as before. He was really tired.

"What are you doing Neal?" Peter was sitting at the kitchen table, watching him.

"I need to go home Peter." He announced.

"No, you are not going home. You are going back to sleep."

"No, I'm not. I have to go home."

"Neal, come on. Why are you acting like this?"

"I told you, that I want to go home."

"And I told you that was not going to happen. You are staying here, end of discussion."

"I might as well be in prison. It feels the same." Neal said. He was angry at Peter, why wouldn't he just listen?

"That can be arranged you know."

"Stop it!"

"No Neal, you need to stop. You are being ridiculous."

It was like he pushed a button and Neal just turned himself off. His face became hard and he turned away as much as he could from Peter, who sighed to himself.

"Neal, come on, let's get you up in the bed in the guest room."

Peter practically dragged Neal up the stairs, and helped him onto the bed. Neal kept telling him that he wanted to go home, and Peter didn't get it.

"Neal, stop it. Come on."

"No. Just leave me alone Peter. Just…just go, okay?"

This was not what Peter wanted. He was about to try and push Neal some more, but the way his voice sounded at his question he couldn't bring himself to refuse him. Neal had turned on his side with his back against him.

"Okay." He said quietly. He stood up and walked over to the door. He paused before he stepped out. "We are downstairs if you need us Neal." He added and then closed the door behind him. He stopped just outside the door for a moment to see if Neal would call him back. He didn't know why Neal would do that though, it wasn't like him. He couldn't hear anything from behind the door.

Peter really couldn't understand why Neal wanted to leave so badly. He had got what he wanted from the start, right? He would be able to celebrate Christmas with El and himself, but Neal wanted to leave and go back to that big empty house. He couldn't understand why, or what was wrong.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

A few hours later Peter and El could hear Neal moving around upstairs and El sent Peter up to investigate. He found Neal trying to get out of the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to go home. You can't keep me here. I need to go home Peter!"

"I know that Neal, I know. But you can't right now. You can't even stand up by yourself."

"Then help me."

"No, Neal. You are staying here."

"No, no, no. I can't." He whispered. He had to go home, he just had to. Why didn't Peter understand that? "Don't… I need to go." He tried again to stand up, but Peter pushed him down again.

"Neal? You know what's going on here right? You are not here as a punishment of some kind. We are just trying to help you."

"But it's Christmas tomorrow!" Neal suddenly exclaimed, to Peter's surprise. He didn't follow.

"Yes, I know that. Is that why you want to go home?" A thought suddenly hit Peter. Did Neal think that he wasn't wanted here because it was Christmas?

"Yeah…" Neal whispered, interrupting his thoughts.

"Neal, I don't mind you being here."

"But I don't have…I didn't bring…"

"Bring what?" Peter asked, feeling confused.

"The gifts." Neal whispered. He looked so sad, but wouldn't look Peter in the eyes. "I had gifts for you." He said.

"You want to go home and get the gifts for us?" Neal nodded.

"I want to go and get them Peter." He looked like he was close to tears now.

"Oh Neal. Is this what all of this is about?" Peter kindly asked.

"I just…I wanted to spend Christmas with you and El." He whispered. "I bought you presents. I thought that maybe you wouldn't mind if I brought you something. I just thought I could join you. I didn't want to be alone, Peter."

"Neal…" Peter sighed.

"I'm sorry." He was trying his best not to cry, but was kind of failing. He wiped his eyes, in an attempt to hide the tears.

"No, don't apologize. Of course you can spend Christmas with me and El, we want you to. Both of us. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come, even before all of this." He mentioned for Neal's chest.

"Really?"

"Yeah. And I don't care if you have gifts or not. We can get them later. What's important at the moment is that you feel better."

"I don't feel so good now." Neal confessed.

"I kind of guessed that. You want to try to get some sleep. You probably have a fever."

"Okay." Neal whispered.

Peter helped him to lay down more comfortable and put the cover back over him. Neal quietly let him, and watched him with tired eyes.

"Get some sleep Neal. It's okay."

Peter watched how Neal closed his eyes, and after just a few moments he was seemingly asleep.

He quietly backed out of the room and went back down to Elisabeth. He told her what happened and the reason Neal had to wanting to leave. She was as saddened as he was and scolded him a bit for not asking Neal over earlier.

They went to sleep shortly after that.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

Peter woke up at 2:26 from that El was pushing on his arm and calling his name.

"Peter wake up. I think I heard something."

They both listened for a moment, and then they heard it. Someone calling out in pain. Neal of course.

Peter got out of bed as fast as he could. What was going on? He could hear El following him. Neal was throwing himself back and forth on the bed, the cover was on the floor, and his face was flushed. He was making whimpering sounds and clutching at his chest. It was obvious that he was in a great amount of pain.

"Shit Neal, hey, it's okay." Peter tried to calm him down.

At first he didn't know what to do, but then decided to go and get some more painkillers and then to try with something cold as the doctor had mentioned. It might also be good for the fever that he was pretty sure Neal had.

"I'll be right back Neal."

He rushed down to the kitchen and found some bags with frozen vegetables, that he wrapped in a kitchen towel and went back upstairs to Neal. El was sittning on the edge of the bed beside him, stroking his arm. She got up to make room for Peter. He removed the covers from Neal's chest and put the towel against his chest.

"This should work Neal. It'll be fine."

Neal didn't seem aware of what he was saying. He mumbled something, and weakly pushed at Peter's hands.

"It's supposed to help, Neal." He said. "It's okay. Leave it."

"No…please." Neal whispered.

"It's okay. It's there to help you. You will feel better in a moment."

"No…It hurts. It hurts Peter."

"I know, I know buddy. I know it does. But it will pass, Neal."

It took more than a moment. Neal wasn't aware of what's going on. All he knew was the pain in his chest and the fact that he was freezing, and also that Peter was there. Eventually he was able to relax a bit more. Peter was there next to him so things should be fine. He fell asleep eventually.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

The next day was Christmas. Neal was still in pain. He was tired and just wanted the pain to stop, but he tried to not let it be shown how much he was hurting. Peter, El and him had breakfast together and after that he was forced to lay down again, this time on the couch. He tried to apologize to Peter and El, but they just brushed it off. He received some pain killers from El, and they helped for a while. He was able to help El make decorations for the Christmas dinner, and to make the dessert.

After that he started to feel worse. He was starting to get a bit nauseated and sweaty. It was starting to hurt more and more, and it was harder and harder to hide it. He was really starting to feel bad, and it effected him more then he liked.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" El smiled at him. She was always so kind to him, no matter what. And suddenly just wanted her to comfort him. He just wanted to let go. Why couldn't he get to do that for just one moment. But he would ruin her Christmas. She wouldn't want to deal with him like that. Why did he always ruin things? He should just leave, and let her have her Christmas in peace. He didn't deserve to be here anyway, he didn't even have a gift for her. She looked so kindly at him waiting for his response and suddenly he couldn't hold back tears anymore. They fell down his cheeks as he stood there in front of El. Why was he so emotional?

"Oh, Neal, sweetie." She whispered, stood up and came and steered him to the couch and sat down next to him. She put her arms around him and drew him into a hug. He let her hug him amazed when she didn't let go. She was truly amazing. He started to cry then. He didn't want her to let go. He wanted to stay like this. The thought of her doing just that made him sadder.

"Hey? What's going on?" It was Peter. As a reflex he quickly drew back from Elisabeth, and tried to wipe the tears away.

"Neal is not feeling so good." El simply said.

"Hey, buddy. That's not so nice." Peter sat down on the other side of him. "It's okay Neal." Peter said, and did something that surprised the both of them. He put an arm around Neal's shoulders and drew him closer into a hug of his own. At first Neal tensed, but then realized that Peter actually was hugging him and offering him something he really had longed for more than he knew. Comfort and reassurance. It felt nice and he let himself lean into the embrace. When Peter didn't let go he returend the hug. Peter held him until Neal felt ready to let go.

 _–_ _WHITE COLLAR -_

Neal was given more pain killers and felt better after that. They had dinner together, and opened presents. Neal continued to feel bad about not having any gifts to give, but opened the one he got anyway. They had a nice evening, with Neal falling asleep on the couch while Peter and El played a board game next to him.

Neal stayed with Peter and El during a couple of days. His chest was hurting less and less during the days. He slept a lot and stayed as still as he could. It hurt less then. El helped him out a lot, gave him pain relievers, gave him heat pads and cooked for him. Peter would sit next to him and keep him company. Sometimes they watched a game, and Elisabeth would join them for a movie. Overall Neal had a really nice time, except for the pain. He felt like he belonged. He also managed to convince Peter to head over to June's and bring over their presents, which they opened after a dinner. Both Elisabeth and Peter seemed pleased with what he got them. He got a hug from Elisabeth. The pain faded away more and more, and he slept better and stopped with the painkillers.

Peter drove him home when he was better. He denied Peter's question about following him upstairs. After all, June was home again. Peter still got out of the car and followed him to the door, carrying his bag.

"Well, you are all set. Take the day tomorrow as well Neal, and I will see you the day after. Okay?" Peter said. He nodded, and smiled.

"Thank you Peter." He said. Peter smiled back, nodded and started to walk down the stairs.

"Peter, wait!" Neal ran down the stairs after him. Peter stopped and turned to him.

"I just wanted to say…" he stopped, feeling a bit embarrassed all of a sudden. Peter just looked patently at him. "I think that this was the best Christmas I ever had." He said quickly. "So thank you for giving me that."

Peter didn't know what to answer to that, hearing the total honesty in Neal's voice as well as seeing it in his eyes. He nodded, and then just gave Neal a quick hug.

"You are welcome. Merry Christmas Neal."


End file.
